Not Me! Monday!

It's that time again, this week has flown by and it's time for some Not Me! Monday! This carnival was created by MckMama, head over to http://mckmama.com/ to see what everyone else has NOT been doing this week!

I did NOT run out of cat food and decide to feed the cat a tortilla instead. It was NOT out of sheer laziness since I would have had to drive to the neighboring town to buy some since our local store is closed on Sundays. I treat my only pet in a childless home way better than that!

I am NOT at all hoping that my new niece or nephew will be born on any other day than my birthday. I would NOT ever be jealous of a new born baby sharing my one and only day to be utterly selfish and revel in. NOT me! That would just be kind of sad and bratty.

My car is definitely NOT in desperate need of an oil change. I am certainly NOT putting it off simply because I do NOT hate talking to mechanics at the oil change shops for fear of being ripped off or looking like a fool.

This week is the kick off for all my favorite shows and I am NOT excited as a school girl to finally have something good to watch on my DVR. That would be a little sad and I would NOT put watching TV on my list of favorite things to do. That's just lazy and I am NOT a lazy person!

Single Ladies

I've been feeling a little behind these days. I feel as if everyone around me is married with children. I got started off on the right foot a few years ago, but now I have taken such a drastic U-turn I wonder if I'll ever find my way back. Being one of the most impatient people ever, you can imagine how frustrated I've been. Everywhere I look there are couples, and not just couples, but HAPPY couples. I try to look beyond them and realize there must be singles out there, but maybe they have been banned in my area and I just didn't get the memo? Hmmm I'll have to look into that.

Sometimes I get pretty down and think there must be something wrong with me, and yes, I can make a mile-long list of those not-so-cool qualities. But then I think, hey wait a second, she's not perfect, and he's not perfect, and that guy's definitely not perfect! And yet they have the one thing that I am missing most in my life. I've been told before to not look so hard, but I've been doing that for a year and haven't had very good results with that method. I'm ready to meet someone and share my life with them. I'm ready to get back to where I was, but this time there will be one major difference, I want to be with the right guy!

I'm a terrible candidate for being a single gal trying to find her match, and here's my proof:

• I'm very shy when I first meet someone, and if I happen to like that person, it's magnified times 10!


• I usually hangout with guys a lot more than girls, which is like wearing a sign on my head that screams "don't even think about talking to me, one of these guys is my boyfriend".


• I'm 27 which seems like an age so rare in the single world it should be put on an endangered species list.


• I'm not into typical girlie things, for example a night out for me includes drinking beer all night, usually keeping up with, if not drinking most guys under the table. I don't sit in a high top chair sipping cosmos, no sir.


• I have a very small group of friends here. Over the years my besties move and I stay in the same place. This just limits me further by not having a large social group to mingle in.

• I know exactly what I want now, since I've already been married. This seems to just limit any potential guy even further.

So, as you can see I am in a place where I don't want to be at this time in my life. I'm trying my best to be patient, but that tank is running on E, actually it's running on fumes. I should look outside the box and realize that my life is fine without having a significant other, but it sure would be nice to meet somebody great to share it with! I think I'll focus on other things for now, try and continue to improve myself to be a better person.

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT almost run away from a very cute boy man calling me by the wrong name while at Target. He did NOT continue to call me by the wrong name when I gave him a quick smile before I then tried to ignore him and play dumb. I was NOT at all embarrassed for him since he was NOT super excited and did NOT almost come running over to me while I quickly turned and jetted down another aisle. I was NOT at all a little disappointed that this very attractive man had me confused with a girl named Megan. NOT me!

I have NOT been tyring to make more homemade meals for one. I am NOT continually disappointed with my culinary skills and have NOT been continually frustrated with the oh so NOT delicious results. I do NOT have a very chic and updated kitchen to make my above mentioned dinners in. My parents did NOT spend all of their Sunday giving my new kitchen it's amazing results. I am NOT at all grateful for them! I did NOT have a terrible hangover that day and most certainly did NOT slack off at all.

I do NOT keep getting more and more bad news by the day. I do NOT think I am running so low on positive fuel that I do NOT want to just throw my hands up and give up. I am NOT thoroughly confused by the events in my life and the people in it. I do NOT want to sometimes pick up and move to Alaska to be an Eskimo. Having feelings of hopelessness is something that would definitely NOT happen in my life.

What have you been NOT doing lately?

Bitch List, er, Pet Peeves

OK, so I'm pretty sure around the same time every month I seem to get annoyed with the same kind of behavior...coincidence? I think not. I've decided to vent these annoyances on my blog, this way I can recognize these behaviors and try my best to deal with them without freaking out. I present to you,

The Bitch List:

• People who honk the horn of their vehicle to make damn sure that thing is locked each and every time they exit the vehicle. Because they obviously are smarter and cooler than everyone else in knowing that some thieve must be lurking around the corner just dying to steal their 1999 Ford Taurus. Seriously, I don't know who invented this feature, but it is so widely abused it causes my eye to twitch every time I hear a horn in a parking lot. It's locked, psycho, you can hear the locks moving into place from outside the car. We don't need to know that yes, you did in fact lock your Toyota piece of crap car by your honking. Thanks!

• Heavy breathers. I know some people just can't help it and I probably shouldn't complain about this one, but seriously! If I can hear you breathing, or gasping for air over the game in the background, you should probably have that looked at. Nothing a little sinus surgery can't fix.
• Having a monotone or extremely loud voice. Don't get me wrong, I have been teased about my quiet, high pitched, annoying voice ever since middle school. But maybe it's an opposite kind of deal, I just feel like running away from those who can't seem to change a decibel or talk with a 6 inch voice! On another note, I really do cherish those with soothing voices and really tend to gravitate towards them. I cannot tell you a single great friend or boyfriend I've had who possessed unpleasant vocal chords! Please don't be afraid that you won't be heard, or that if you change your voice a single decibel it might squeak. A little animation never hurt anybody.
• Terrible drivers. I would probably be categorized in this group according to some of my friends, but that would only be on the basis of aggressive driving. I would call a terrible driver someone who can't seem to keep up with the speed limit, constantly taps the breaks, starts to decelerate about a mile before the stop light, cranks their head around in the car so far they look like the exorcist just to look for other vehicles that might be within a 500 foot radius, which then of course they would wait, almost drive off the shoulder, cause other vehicles to lock up their breaks, almost killing the other 10 cars around them before finally deciding it's now safe to enter the freeway going an estimated 20 mph, those who just can't quite decide where and when to turn their cars, the idiot who is so wrapped up in a phone conversation that they have absolutely no idea what is going on around them, or that car that's riding your ass so bad you just want to slam on the breaks to give them a little heads up to back the hell up, because really you just don't want to deal with this a#*hole when he really does slam into you and you have a lot to do and the jerk probably doesn't even have car insurance. whew.
• slow-movers in the mall or other crowded area. I'm not an evil bitch, I'm not referring to the elderly or handicapped. I'm referring to those annoying groups that walk in a horizontal line moving at the pace of a snail. You try and try to sneak by them , but then you run into another road block, those pesky little kiosks full of knock-off bags and over-priced lotions. You would think that they could be more aware of their environment. Yes, you have a group of eight and you're taking up a massive amount of space in this already crowded mall, but can't you see that I am trying to get by while saying "excuse me" five times as loudly as I can with my non-projecting voice?! Get out tha way!

So there it is. The official Bitch List. It's amazing how much better I feel just venting about life's frustrations that sometimes get the best of me. I am still learning patience, and boy is it ever a tough lesson for me! I am one fast walking, fast driving, mouth breathing, quiet talking, and silent car locking girl. I can't imagine that anything I do would ever annoy anybody (enter huge smirk here). Life's little annoyances do teach us patience, and that patience does get put to the test on a daily basis. What are some of your pet peeves? What do you do to look past them and not freak out when your patience has fizzled?